Several of those dates had ended in marriage for the two people involved. It was the social event of the year and it was up to Janice and her committee to see that it went off without a hitch.It came apart on the night of the event. Janice and I had already arrived and I was sitting and sipping a vodka martini as Janice ran around attending to last minute details. She finally managed to find time to sit down with me and have a drink and as we were sitting there Toni came up and sat down with us."We have a problem Janice." What's wrong?" Four of the girls who volunteered for the auction have called and cancelled." Why?" Sue Wilson is stuck in Kansas City. The airport is weathered in and she can't get a flight out. Mary Miller is in the hospital with a burst appendix and two others are down with the flu that has been going around." Oh shit! It's too late to find replacements. Why the hell does this have to happen the year I'm involved with this?" Well, a couple of us have come up with. Debbie, still joking, then asked Jenny if she was producing milk yet, and if she was then maybe she would like to help feed her new baby. Well, Jenny's eyes went as wide as saucers at the prospects of being able to help her older sister. I on the other hand, laying on the carpet on my stomach so no one would see the boner I had, was thinking of a plan. Step one now completed was to get Jenny to see me in pain."What are you trying to do?" Remember when we visited Uncle Buck's farm, how he would milk the cows?" Yeah." Well i've been trying to do that but," I started crying here, crocodile tears. "I cant make it work."Jenny came over and sat beside me on the bed. She then leaned over and hugged me around the neck."Oh my poor brother, can I help?" I don't know Jenny, what can you do?" Well I really wanted to help Debbie, what if I suck it out of you?" Oh, would you really do that for me sis?" Of course, if you'd let me, I want to help." Well, alright then, but let's not tell anyone,.
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